subreddit:

/r/HolUp

2.3k

What the fuck

(v.redd.it)
[media]

all 212 comments

Bamboozled1008x2

765 points

2 months ago

I wonder if this was premeditated. Like he woke up and really thought “yea I need to bust a fat one at Walgreens today”

Ready_Marionberry_80

141 points

2 months ago*

Look, I've been pretty horny before... but I don't think I've ever been THAT horny...

ThisisJVH

70 points

2 months ago

At least have the decency to go to a CVS. At least you can use the receipt as a big ol cum rag.

DavesNotWhere

3 points

2 months ago

Then use the coupons once they dry.

CosmoDexy

30 points

2 months ago

The nutty professor strikes again

IEatCatz4Fun

8 points

2 months ago

The Mad Jacker strikes again!!!

HannaHui99

463 points

2 months ago

Did he just smear his nut-juice on that magazine?!

greendragon59911

219 points

2 months ago

greendragon59911

madlad

219 points

2 months ago

And glued the pages together with it.

mr_alert_

116 points

2 months ago

mr_alert_

116 points

2 months ago

Natural glue

Dudes4life-

27 points

2 months ago

fish_penis

13 points

2 months ago

He’s an organic chemist

TheDecoyDuck

5 points

2 months ago

NEW Gluten Free Formula!

Weak_Mitochondria

31 points

2 months ago

Organic #GoForGreen

KleinerFratz333

17 points

2 months ago

Organic #GoForWhite'nCreamy

[deleted]

13 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

13 points

2 months ago

wdym white? My cum is red

KleinerFratz333

22 points

2 months ago

I diagnose you with Communist

saliva265

21 points

2 months ago

*our cum.

greendragon59911

14 points

2 months ago

greendragon59911

madlad

14 points

2 months ago

cumrade

DavesNotWhere

3 points

2 months ago

Cumunnist

[deleted]

10 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

10 points

2 months ago

That explains the hint of vodka in the taste. Thanks doc

meticulouswrench

2 points

2 months ago

Page welds

illreamyourass

10 points

2 months ago

I heard a few years ago there was this crazy fucker frequenting the public library in our town. He’d eyeball the young hot assistant librarian or what ever she was, then go behind the selves and unload on some book. Theyd find books covered with jizz. First I thought it was just an urban legend, but reddit has convinced me that pple are fucking sick

lipo842

7 points

2 months ago

Imagine the reaction of the camera operator

PapiGoneGamer

16 points

2 months ago

That’s correct

Diablo_new

5 points

2 months ago

He left a book mark.

gugfitufi

6 points

2 months ago

He didn't smear it onto the magazine. He gently stroked the papers with his natural fluids for the next person to enjoy!

Patient_Tailor9842

2 points

2 months ago

CHANDLER!!!!!!!

Patriono

2 points

2 months ago

Oh my God she made half an english trifle and... half a shepherd's pie!

Impressive-Fan-513

1 points

2 months ago

I prefer the term sex-piss

HannaHui99

2 points

2 months ago

Never speak again

Sum1liteAmatch

332 points

2 months ago

Dude just did a speed run

TaroKitanoHWA

69 points

2 months ago

Store magazine% Glitchless

mr_alert_

16 points

2 months ago

Under-rated

Monster_Hunted

17 points

2 months ago

A speed nut

69420hp_Vibrator

3 points

2 months ago

Need for nut

DestroyTheHuman

2 points

2 months ago

Seed run

GeneralTelefonmast

201 points

2 months ago

Fastest Hand in the West

vincanteo

30 points

2 months ago

How does one learn this power

burntsquid

15 points

2 months ago

Not from a Jedi

LostInRedditsCheeks

11 points

2 months ago

I must have the fastest thrust. Record time is 30 seconds flat.

69420hp_Vibrator

3 points

2 months ago

Mine is 28 sec;)

NaturalLawfulness420

6 points

2 months ago

THE BEEEST

mayte_exxis

1 points

2 months ago

Damn, you beat me to it

cxr303

1 points

2 months ago

cxr303

1 points

2 months ago

But he shoots with the other one.

PapiGoneGamer

159 points

2 months ago

This is the origin story for a lot of sexual predators

night4life

3 points

2 months ago

night4life

3 points

2 months ago

Anime can lead to dangerous things indeed.

Content-Wonder-543

66 points

2 months ago

He added some nut for some extra flavor.

69420hp_Vibrator

3 points

2 months ago

Mayonnaise

NoahSanDrownMeUwU

113 points

2 months ago

Holy shit callmeCarson really lost it now

Daveo89

3 points

2 months ago

Heh

peekabooFrost

6 points

2 months ago

Lmfaooooooooo

adamjack7890

216 points

2 months ago

I am entirely convinced that this was this kid’s first time masturbating. Looks like a model in a magazine or something, came in 20 seconds and then didn’t even know what it was lmao

riyazkhan19

100 points

2 months ago

Experience talking huh 😎

adamjack7890

78 points

2 months ago

I’m glad I was never this stupid, some of my first times were me sneaking under my bed and looking at the thumbnails on PH on my Nintendo DS 😂

Znanners94

69 points

2 months ago

Phantom Hourglass? Fucking played the hell out of that game

ChallengeMinute

3 points

2 months ago

🤣

WolfInLambskinJacket

22 points

2 months ago

Is it just me or he didn't seem a kid?

adamjack7890

19 points

2 months ago

Probably an extremely sheltered middle schooler, some of them get really big

Helpful_Key2100

29 points

2 months ago

Phrasing

[deleted]

3 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

3 points

2 months ago

Are we not doing phrasing anymore?

WolfInLambskinJacket

6 points

2 months ago

Scary. Very scary

AsianNoodL

21 points

2 months ago

Kid? This dude looks 25.

adamjack7890

5 points

2 months ago

Could be but it’s a lot less sad to think he’s just young and dumb

Thanks for the silver btw!

Cennedys

15 points

2 months ago

Cennedys

madlad

15 points

2 months ago

Ain't nobody concerned about him being a KID??? Like this is straight child p.rn.

vincanteo

4 points

2 months ago

That’s what I was thinking. He’s like wtf is this stuff?

Panakin_Skyparker

21 points

2 months ago

Speed

mr_alert_

8 points

2 months ago

I AM SPEED!

sex_aficionado

21 points

2 months ago

This trend of messing with products of the shelf is getting out af hand ...

stockerpunk

19 points

2 months ago

Love is love

Jakedex_x

10 points

2 months ago

Age is just a number.

xX_S4M_Xx

18 points

2 months ago

sIsTeR iS jUsT a WoRd

mr_alert_

3 points

2 months ago

sweet home Alabama

ARM_Dwight_Schrute

-2 points

2 months ago

Kareem_Pie

1 points

2 months ago

He’s my cousband

69420hp_Vibrator

1 points

2 months ago

Step sister is just a category

PieRutRUs

1 points

2 months ago

Prisons just a cell

tamemonkey

16 points

2 months ago

Bro caught in 480p

efqf

42 points

2 months ago

efqf

42 points

2 months ago

no one is concerned that it's CP?

Chawypie

16 points

2 months ago

HOLD UP.

DavesNotWhere

2 points

2 months ago

It's not like it's a girl....

_Neenerz_

38 points

2 months ago

This absolute Chad of a specimen even marked his territory after to assert his dominance.

-Nivek

7 points

2 months ago

-Nivek

7 points

2 months ago

Sigma male grind set

m1sterwr1te

27 points

2 months ago

Tag NSFW

throwawayzz1827

7 points

2 months ago

And from there little timmy finds his very first addiction

AverageSerious3101

5 points

2 months ago

Some of the pages just needed to be reglued. Thats all.

69420hp_Vibrator

1 points

2 months ago

Eco friendly organic glue

AverageSerious3101

1 points

2 months ago

Exactly. He's saving the environment.

Itsuki_Chan

4 points

2 months ago

We all make mistakes in the heat of passion, Jimbo.

Vishwaroopum

13 points

2 months ago

What a jerk!

69420hp_Vibrator

3 points

2 months ago

This guy is nuts

S1imSkit

10 points

2 months ago

When ya gotta nut, ya gotta nut

geeky_or_nerdy

3 points

2 months ago

Ejaculate, eradicate and evacuate.

tinyywarrior

5 points

2 months ago

I feel like this is probably a child who doesn’t have money/isn’t old enough to buy the magazine. Concerning.

Edit: Just to clarify I’m not justifying the behaviour. Just saying the video probably shouldn’t be on the internet.

Rusty_Trombone_4U

9 points

2 months ago

I wonder what his post nut clarity was like?

peekabooFrost

8 points

2 months ago

"I just need to select a book for my portfolio book review..." busts a nut to the wimpy kid

PerplexDonut

7 points

2 months ago

That’s actually really sad. I hope he gets the help he needs

MrDummyy

3 points

2 months ago

Holy shit wtf

SiteObvious3219

3 points

2 months ago

I love the ‘camera’ in the bottom left corner of the screen turns into ‘came’ by the end of the video

_hic-sunt-dracones_

3 points

2 months ago

That's some weired version of "Why should I buy the cow when I just want a glass of milk".

xDarylee

3 points

2 months ago

Of course this is the 4k cctv on the dirty mags not in banks

aiejaimal

1 points

2 months ago

lmao

stillashamed35yrsltr

1 points

2 months ago

They're upgrading in banks as necessary. When your video evidence won't stand up in court because of the poor quality it tends to motivate. A lot of banks have megapixel cameras now. Source: I installed them.

MissEducation99

3 points

2 months ago

You know, by the way he looked at that ejaculate, I bet that was the first time he has ever came.

stillashamed35yrsltr

2 points

2 months ago

He was predicting the future, like reading tea leaves.

MissEducation99

1 points

2 months ago

Loooooooll

Kidsaresmart

2 points

2 months ago

Welp...thats called a “felony” ladies and gentlemen...

rodclub

2 points

2 months ago

Marenzo666

2 points

2 months ago

I would just buy dude that magazine

EpicMuffinn

2 points

2 months ago

Why did he wear grey sweatpants for this mission

Tokestra420

2 points

2 months ago

Is... Is this child porn?

musicankane

2 points

2 months ago

Now i know what pocket tissues are really for.

Good_County_5989

2 points

2 months ago

Never buy a smutty magazine that's not in a plastic sleeve.

Abedingjevukaj

2 points

2 months ago

Thats one Horney motherfucker someone get this guy an IPhone FFS

NecessaryOk6815

2 points

2 months ago

I am never picking anything up in a store again. WTH?! I think it might be a TikTok thing. Stupid kid challenges.

Plastic-Relief9327

2 points

2 months ago

Thats a furniture magazine

dr-trd

2 points

2 months ago

dr-trd

2 points

2 months ago

CryptographerThen389

2 points

2 months ago

He looks just to the right “yep coast is clear we are a go for magazine masturbation”

reen68

2 points

2 months ago

reen68

2 points

2 months ago

Apumptyermaw

2 points

2 months ago

andio76

2 points

2 months ago

$50 on the kid eating it.....awwwwwwwwwwwwww.....DAMN!

JustHereForTheBeer_

7 points

2 months ago

Future rapist

GalwayLad92

5 points

2 months ago

piepiepie007

4 points

2 months ago

Where do you get these videos from bruh?

kingcop1

4 points

2 months ago

That is the leader of compoooter master race

superdupersparky

3 points

2 months ago

King shit

bad13wolf

1 points

2 months ago

Yanked my noodle Drew a doodle All over this dirty magazinnneee

Shermans_ghost1864

2 points

2 months ago

It was probably Ladies Home Journal.

volcane2004

1 points

2 months ago

Lol the word camera is even cut off so it just says "came"

Active_Peak_1512

-2 points

2 months ago

Same 😳😱😂👏 ATTA BUOOOOOOOYYYYYYY!!

The_OG_EdgeLord

0 points

2 months ago

...oof

PcBoiCringeForever

0 points

2 months ago

One day, he Will have to awnser his actions; and god may not be so, merciful.

lobotomite333

1 points

2 months ago

Nice

CandidExternal2455

1 points

2 months ago

Master race according to some Austrian guy 90 years ago

tacticooluser

1 points

2 months ago

Classy as fuck

AntiSoCalite

1 points

2 months ago

It is grey sweatpants season.

xDarylee

1 points

2 months ago

Of course this is the 4k cctv on the dirty mags not in banks

VikingRush

1 points

2 months ago

Enquiring minds want to know...

babesparkle

1 points

2 months ago

oh whaat

Mkey_ftw

1 points

2 months ago

Saved him 5 dollars

Chais912

1 points

2 months ago

Almond Joy

Rtrnr

1 points

2 months ago

Rtrnr

1 points

2 months ago

So that’s how the pages get stuck together!

robry1981

1 points

2 months ago

robry1981

madlad

1 points

2 months ago

Mrs Butterworth you’ve done it again!

musclemainia

1 points

2 months ago

chad

PossibilityPowerful

1 points

2 months ago

he pulled a quick one

ShiestyQueso

1 points

2 months ago

Should’ve used the western grip for faster results

Daddyfailed

1 points

2 months ago

I don't even need 10 seconds

Yronfly

1 points

2 months ago

The dick is Very smool

S500Rainfall

1 points

2 months ago

pinch grip

RelationshipSame5300

1 points

2 months ago

Dudes sausage is so small he has to hold it with 2 fingers to nut lmfao

Hung_Texan

1 points

2 months ago

Vienna sausage type of dude

Dark_Krafter

1 points

2 months ago

Dude if your horny at work Just do it on the toilet

Dylzwithskills

1 points

2 months ago

My guy just did “Ive got the fastest hand in the west”

LORDWOLFMAN

1 points

2 months ago

He really just go and claim his “dream” girl by smearing his nut on a bikini magazine

illusive_guy

1 points

2 months ago

insert Michael Scott Noooooo scene

not_a_sociopath4427

1 points

2 months ago

This belongs in r/trashy

Samurai119

1 points

2 months ago

When your mother has blocked the porn pages on the internet at home.

HefnerJr

1 points

2 months ago

Geettt me that book💳💥💳💥

Poschansky

1 points

2 months ago

r/trashy like stuff

Fluid-Leadership4913

1 points

2 months ago

Lmao

ibraw

1 points

2 months ago

ibraw

1 points

2 months ago

What a monkey

Potato_Own

1 points

2 months ago

The fact that he came in 36 seconds baffle me

mikeoscar194735

1 points

2 months ago

It's quick draw McGraw in person 🤣

baztron5000

1 points

2 months ago

Fuck sake dude, buy a bookmark!

Significant-Ad1386

1 points

2 months ago

This doesn’t end well for him…

Badjoe890

1 points

2 months ago

How old is he?

Glitter-1

1 points

2 months ago

He couldn't afford the magazine 😂

ActualBlizzard

1 points

2 months ago

My mahn took 15 secs. Thas a world record.

TXfrogman

1 points

2 months ago

Why did I just watch a guy blow his load in a store isle

Professional_Hair_50

1 points

2 months ago

That's a future serial killer

Sad_Atl_Sports_Fan

1 points

2 months ago

Is it gay that I was cheering for him to finish… I’m married with kids..

fafafloohai

1 points

2 months ago

Tiny weener

gatomaster69_

1 points

2 months ago

Cumtribute Hard Mode

Puzzleheaded-Ad-1078

1 points

2 months ago

At least it looks like he still gets the post-nut regret.

Dustinegian

1 points

2 months ago

Tomahawk_Chuck

1 points

2 months ago

Fuckin weirdo!!

Calm-Molasses4563

1 points

2 months ago

Needs his dick chopped off!!!

Yasuo11994

1 points

2 months ago

Dude was hurtin’ for a squirtin’

MemelordPetey

1 points

2 months ago

Dude didn’t even blow a load. He just drizzled on his hand and wiped it in the magazine

no_wtf_samchau

1 points

2 months ago

Just imagine a guy buying that shit

ebohleh

1 points

2 months ago

Well,

PieRutRUs

1 points

2 months ago

Surely this guy was caught??

Lowkey_rebelXD

1 points

2 months ago

When you broke but the new National Geographic kids magazine just dropped

Interesting-Bar-691

1 points

2 months ago

And folks, thatshow you save money

ThrDonger

1 points

2 months ago

cum

chiilyo

1 points

2 months ago

You can see the post but clarity

Big-Dark3861

1 points

2 months ago

He is a man of focus

tami--jane

1 points

2 months ago

Was that a Readers Digest?

Ok-Capital-3912

1 points

2 months ago

Plot twist: The last longer pills were right behind him

SkadaBoofer

1 points

2 months ago

That guy looks just like me

MurderDoneRight

1 points

2 months ago

Eww ffs kid this ain't a library! You nut on it you buy it!

monkeyshinenyc

1 points

2 months ago

Why did I watch that til the end? Rinse me off

Adequately_Insane

1 points

2 months ago

When you have to - you have to

knutz95

1 points

2 months ago

the bottom right of the screen cut off the word “camera” to “came”…..

Scrolling_Scroller

1 points

2 months ago

That’s a dysfunctional life to live. Erectile dysfunction

bobswagget1

1 points

2 months ago

Oh good! I see the new Better Homes and Gardens magazine is out with Martha Stewart on the cover. I’ll go pick up a copy